June 5, 2015
Years ago, I wrote a melody. I have no idea where it came from, I didn't spend more than 60 seconds on it. There's no special or magical story that goes along with how I came up with it, I just did. It's like it had been sitting in a little corner, hanging out, waiting for me to notice it. I kept playing it like I was in some kind of a trance.When I wasn't physically playing it, I was hearing it in my mind, noticing my eyes would lose focus and I'd get this incredible rush of excitement and my sister would say "what are you smiling about?" A few things, actually. One, this is kind of obsessive and addictive to the point of obnoxious. Awesome. Two, if I ever write lyrics to this they won't matter because the music is the point, I want it to be the point. Finally, is there anything better than the feeling of writing music that makes my heart beat fast, fills my head with big dreams, and makes my stomach go crazy with butterflies? It's like the next best thing to achieving world peace or something.
Years ago, I wrote a list. A list of all of the things I've (personally) never experienced. I've never... this. I've never... that. I ripped the page out and propped it up on the piano as if it were sheet music. I left it there. Every day I'd glance at it and wonder what the hell I was going to do with a list of all the things I'd never done. It wasn't really a cross-it-off kind of list. "Okay, so...Monday I'm going to touch the bottom of the sea, Tuesday I'll see the sky while lying next to you. Wednesday's tough b/c I have a dentist appointment, but Thursday I will be SURE to completely let go of my heart." How silly was this? It's not like I needed a list to remind me of my short-comings (yeah, yeah, make your jokes). I decided the list was just annoying and depressing so I tore it up and threw it away.
Years ago, I wrote a song. The song was about finding happiness. Was it a place? A person? A thing? (I promise, we're not filling out a mad lib.) I've longed for a lot throughout my life. I've longed for all kinds of love, I've longed for beauty, and I've longed to do simple things like swim alone in the ocean, drive a car or go for a run. (I promise, this is not meant to be a P.P.P. - Pity Party Post.) Since I hadn't experienced any of those things and, to be totally candid, still have not (at least, not in the versions that I originally envisioned), I thought I could never know what it would feel like to be truly happy. Somewhere along the way, growing up as (hopefully) most of us do, I found that happiness is hidden in many other places, shapes and forms, you just have to know where to find it. At the risk of baring my entire soul to all of you, I will say this: happiness for me was, is and probably always will be making music. Make no mistake, I still have moments of longing for those things on "my list," but I know now that those things aren't the only things that will "take me to Euphoria." Look at me, using my own lyrics for preaching purposes. Ha! Honestly, though, music takes me there and "Euphoria" was just my journey of coming to that realization.
Take a listen and pay extra special attention to the part that makes me happiest - the music behind the lyrics. Euphoria - featuring Darcie Lozeau