Poor and Rich at the Same Time
August 9, 2009
How is it possible, one might wonder, to be both poor AND rich at the same time? Well, it's not all about the money. Let me explain, if you care to listen. Please listen...
In cash terms, I feel somewhat lacking. If one were to look at my bank account, they would see that it is not spilling over the sides by any means. Yes, I do work in the financial world (unfortunately, and this is in no offense to those that do, good for you brainiacs) but this is not replenishing my account as fast as I am using it. The amount I am spending is much, much more than the amount I am making.
Now, what I am rich in is creativity. Creatively rich? If you're still with me, let me explain...I know this isn't the most riveting blog you've ever laid eyes on. I apologize for that. I have a plentitude of songs, which I consider to be pretty catchy, heart-felt, melodic little ditties. (Why is plentitude underlined in red? I could have sworn that it was a real word! If it's not, it should be. Feel free to use it anytime.) I have lyrics and melodies coming out of every pore of my body. So fast I sometimes lose them to the land of the lost. If I could just figure out a mode of transportation to that land, life would be even richer. So, due to the extent of my creativity, I am producing these endless catalogs of four minute long wonders. Therefore, I am rich.
So there you go, rich AND poor at the same time. The thing I have to consider now, is, does one outweigh the other? And if so, which one wins? This might be worth my time to decide. Maybe I won't be happy with the result, but I can't let it get too late. Ok, here goes...
In one year, I have only been able to complete 4.75 songs in the recording studio. This, to me, is a bit ridiculous. In my opinion, a year's worth of studio time (and of course that is not every single day, it is a weekend here and a weekend there, four hours here and five hours there) should produce a heck of a lot more goods than what I have to show. Not only because of the time spent, but because of the money I have spent. I have practically cleaned myself out when I could have considered myself monetarily content in my thirty years. Instead, I decided to use the tools at my exposure that would take my songs and give them more life than I could have ever dreamed of. When expressing my concern to my producer/engineer, he consoles me by telling me we are not just laying down a track but that we are doing a LOT of production. Production that you get when your song is actually ready for the radio. We aren't spending our time making a demo. We are spending our time recording my first album. Sometimes he has me convinced that he is absolutely correct. Hey, he is the professional, after all. But then there are days like today where I would give anything to be at the studio but am not, thus forcing me to consider these things, flipping them over in my mind until they become like overdone pancakes all shriveled up in a frying pan. These next two weeks void of recording loom over me like a dark and angry cloud, bursting with these analyzing thoughts of "what the F is going on here? where is my money going? what age will I be when I finish this album?" raining down over my head.
But then I think back over the last recording session (last Sunday). It was a good one, I have to say. The fifth track is a ballad that I wrote at a pretty sad time in my life, when I watched someone slowly fading away from me and from themselves. It's pretty heavy in that way. But it's also just a really sweet melody. The music alone has desperation in it. That's really hard to create, but thanks to the studio and the professionals, it worked. And after adding my vocals and having one of my very best friends sing a pretty important backup element to the song, I can't help but be thankful. Because, see, this is when I realize that my money will get me there, I will make sure of it. I just thank my lucky stars every single day that I have what I have inside of me. Because I really do believe that it is going to change the world someday, somehow. Maybe not for everyone in it, but for those who really need it.
And that, my friends, is why my RICHness will always win.